Wednesday, July 28, 2010

GET ME OUT OF HERE.

I may not make it these last 12 days in Ohio.
I hate it. I love my family and they are so important to me but I may possibly kill them in the next 2 weeks.
We're just all so bored that we pick at each other until we snap.

Get me out of Ohio. SOON.


On a happier note, here's something pretty.



{Photo credit: Anna Be Bridal Boutique via Style Me Pretty}

<3 S

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Not Just A House.

I apologize for my blogging hiatus.
All of my readers probably missed me a lot.

I have realized that I may be depressed.
I'm always so negative, I have a horrible self image right now, and I'm not really enjoying my time here with my family. I think the reason I'm not enjoying myself is because I ONLY HANG OUT WITH MY FAMILY. It is so horrible to be saying this but I can't wait to be out of here. I have no friends which makes me completely unmotivated to do anything including; taking care of myself, finding things that make me happy, respecting my family members.
I'm a constant BITCH.

I am on the countdown until I get out of this little prison.

To add to the fact that my summer is sucking majorly, I was snooping around "that boy"'s facebook today and found a cute little couple picture of him with another girl. Have I mentioned that I hate my life?! Oh well I do. For the moment at least. I knew this would happen... Some other girl who he can actually spend time with and who is fun and peppy and NOT depressed comes along looking super cute and wins him over while I'm stuck listening to my brother sing off key to his ipod music which no one else can hear. Awesome.

One neat thing that happened today is that my family drove by the old house of my great Aunt Sally. The house was built in 1864 during the Civil War era. It's an incredible house but unfortunately after the passing of my great uncle, my Aunt has moved into a house nearer to her daughter. This house was just too much to handle for a 96 year old, 85 pound, 5 foot tall woman.

My great aunt was really an incredible woman, along with my whole family on that side. There were six children, my grandfather being the only boy in the family. Sally met the love of her life, Carl Copp in an interesting way. He was her sister's brother-in-law to-be. Two brothers married two sisters. Romantic, right? Both men went off to WWII and returned to their wives and families. Aunt Sally and Uncle Carl started an old-fashioned English hunting club, with horses, hounds, beautiful riding cloaks... the whole nine yards. They would hunt on the land behind their house. The house also had stables, a tennis court and a swimming pool. It's truly my picture of southern comfort living. It's marvelous. I took some photos on my phone and tried to touch them up on the computer. It can, in no way, do the home justice but I felt a closeness to God while I was there.

Enjoy.













<3 S

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Blast from the Past.

My brother and I went to the YMCA today to play some volleyball and it was a BLAST. We had so much fun even though we didnt get to play on the same team very often. It was just a typical pickup game but it was great.

There was one woman who absolutely amazed me. She was at least 65 years old and was the most accurate player on the court.
Looks DEFINITELY are deceiving :]

<3

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I was very enlightened. And soaking wet.


Today was a momentous occasion.

I WITNESSED MY VERY FIRST FLASH FLOOD.

My mom, sister and I were minding our own, perusing the aisles of Sam's Club when we heard a strange rumbling sound. If I were outside, the thought would have occurred to me that the sound was thunder, but we were inside and the noise was SO LOUD! Sister says "Wow that's some loud thunder", to which I reply, "That's not thunder. Someone must be moving things around in here." I mean, it was loud. After checking out our items, we looked outside to see SHEETS of water pouring out of the sky.

I ran to the car (about 150 feet away) and was saturated by the time I got into the vehicle. It was truly incredible.
Coming from the Northwest, we're used to longevity when it comes to rain, but not volume like that in such a short period of time. My mom, sister and I were just amazed and laughing so hard amidst the solemn-faced locals. By the time we had loaded the car and driven another mile, the rain had completely stopped and blue sky surrounded us on all sides.

While I was sitting in the passenger's seat as we drove home, I realized that this is oftentimes how life goes.
When it rains it pours and after those few minutes of severe torrential rain, it's beautiful again.
I was very enlightened. And soaking wet.

<3 S

Monday, July 19, 2010

10 things that shocked the heck out of me... or maybe just one.

Have you ever seen the movie "10 Things I Hate About You"?
If not here's a short summary.
The movie is based off of William Shakespeare's play, The Taming of the Shrew. Heath Ledger is one of the main characters and looks delightfully yummy. And it just happens to be one of my very favorite movies. In the movie there is a section in which Kat (Julia Stiles) has just broken up with Patrick (Heath Ledger) because he was paid to take her to prom in order for Joey to take out Kat's sister Bianca, who really wants to go, and actually ends up going, with Cammeron. Confused yet?
That's about all the back ground information you need for this post.
Anyway, Kat creates a sonnet for her English class titled 10 Things I Hate About You. In the sonnet, she describes all of the things she likes and dislikes about Patrick, and in the last part of the sonnet, tells him she still loves him. What's not to like about this classic '90s teen romance?!

There's a point to this story, I swear.
Today while standing in the bathroom, my little sister told me that she had written a "10 things" list to me, completely out of the blue. When I asked if I could see it, she told me that she had thrown it away and couldn't remember anything on it.
That is where I called B.S. After prodding her about it for a few more minutes, she told me that one thing on the list was along the lines of "You're gorgeous but you don't even know it, let alone believe it."

*Breath Whooshing away from lungs*

That was probably the most genuine compliment I had ever received. Coming from my sister it was nothing short of a miracle. I guess I realized ow hard I am on my self and I need to make loving myself more of a priority.

<3 S

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Love is everwhere. Insert Gagging noise here.

It seems like everyone around me is doing one of four things:

*Getting married- I've realized that 5 people I went to high school with have gotten married in the last 2 months, 2 more are engaged and my cousin is getting married in March. I LOVE weddings and the only one I've been invited to is my cousin's. I want to be a wedding planner yet NO ONE even invites me to the wedding. Sad Day

*Having a child- Everyone is pregnant! It's surrounding me! It's not people I know very well but there are like 10 babies being brought into the world by people I know. Which is crazy.

*Having a nasty breakup- One of my best friends called me at 3 o'clock am yesterday to describe in gory detail how her boyfriend broke up with her. Okay so it has only happened to one person around me but still it was major.

*Getting into a relationship with Mr./Ms. Perfect- from my best guyfriend's little sister to my elementary school friend from ages ago finally finding her first boyfriend.

All of this relationship stuff makes me want someone to cuddle up with. I'm kind of lonely over here.
I talked to "that boy" last night, though. It was so nice to hear from him. I don't know if it's the distance, that I looked like poo poo last night, or the fact that he talked about giving another girl a ride on his motorcycle, but part of me is moving to the idea that it's not going to work when I get back to Oregon. Only God knows, but my sight is being clouded by pessimism. With all this luvie duvie-ness around me, I'm a little over the romanticism, which is NOT NORMAL for me!

On a Lighter note, I found out that I am going to a Tim McGraw/Lady Antebellum Concert on August 5th. Excitement doesnt even come close to my reaction. I LOVE both groups. I'm slightly obsessed with Lady A though :]SOOOO FUNNNN!!!!!



Until Next time,

<3 S

Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Problem.

I'm looking for meaning in life. Of course, I will never know what the meaning of life is, but I'm very happy that I've been put on this earth. God has created a place for me to be surrounded by people who deeply care about me and I feel so blessed to have such an incredible family.

I miss my friends though. I can't wait to get together with my girls or see "that boy" again when I get back to Oregon. Speaking of "that boy", I really miss him. We have barely talked at all since I've been over here and I'm trying to give him space. Let him come to me, ya know?! It's just hard because I don't have anything to think about, so my mind wanders to him. I'm starting to think his mind doesn't wander to me... That's my problem; I give my heart away too quickly, and usually it's more than the other person wants to give. I guess it's a good thing, it's just hard to get used to.



I feel like this woman. Alone, dark clouds behind her, contemplative, and not noticing the beauty of the flower around her.

P.S. This painting in MAGNIFICENT. I'm in love.

Friday, July 16, 2010

sunglasses sunburns are painful and they look really really cool...

I really don't have a lot to write about today.

I woke up to a text message saying that friend A has proof the friend B's boyfriend is cheating on friend A. That woke me up pretty quickly. Headed to the gym after I could not fall back to sleep due to this earth shattering info, showered after sweating like an old man at the Y, grabbed myself some Starbucks (not the greatest coffee but caffeine period runs my world), all this before 8 a.m.

***NOTE TO SELF- Find a good local coffee shop***

This eventful morning was followed by 3 games of soccer, watching my brother's high school games that is. It was really nice seeing him playing again. He had surgery on his lateral meniscus in March, but had been playing injured since October. He's finally getting his fire back and that's great to see. Plus this was his first game on the new team out here in Ohio. They looked pretty good, but I guess I'm a bit biased. 8+ hours of soccer/sun in one day = exhaustion and we're doing it all again tomorrow.

Tomorrow add a few hours of sleep and a yoga class and bump the soccer back a bit and you have my day.



A word to the wise, Sunburns hurt, but sunglasses sunburns are painful and they look really really cool...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

It's right there in your own backyard.




Boredom is hitting me by the truckload. Of course I have things to do around the house, but of course I don't want to do them. My attitude is low again today but I promised my "readers" that I would be more optimistic today.

I've been perusing Blogger, looking for inspiration and reading into lives of people I've never met. It's pretty inspiring, actually. A lot of them are about religion, traveling and random notes, like mine, but occasionally I'll stumble across a blog about living with leukemia, or an incredible garage sale find. It's amazing what other people are experiencing in their lives.

My favorite blogs to find, though, are photography, whether it be original or web-based. I've always wanted to be a photographer. The creativity and beauty that cameras catch in this world astounds me. I am a very spiritual person and I feel that a single picture can move the soul. So what did I do today instead of finishing dinner preparations or touch up the spots that need painting in my bedroom? I grabbed my camera and went outside.



I found these flowers in my back yard and was inspired. I hadn't even noticed that they were there, content in the shade of the trees that line our fence. I realized that I haven't been looking for the beauty in the world, and maybe that's why I'm not enjoying my time. I came into the house, sweaty from the humidity, with the biggest smile I've had on my face in a while. Creativity always puts me in a happy place.

Remember, to take in the beauty of the world. It's right there in your own backyard.

<3 S

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The "Toy Story" effect.

Since we moved into our house in Ohio, I've been finding a lot of things that have reminded me of things in my past. I've found old photos, stuffed animals, clothes, toys, all of the things one would expect to find. I've thought about all the "good times from my past, all 19 years of it. I know, I'm practically a baby, but since I'm practically blogging to myself, I can pretend I'm old and wise.

Seeing all of these things brings out a "Toy Story" mode in me: making everything feel loved once again. It makes me sad because it means that I've forgotten about certain items.

In the three weeks that I've been here, I have yet to make a friend. The only people that have made an effort to check in on me are a select few, I can count the number on my hands. I don't count my parents friends who have "checked in" on my facebook page. That's kind of lame. I am beginning to feel like I'm the forgotten toy.

Yes, we had our good times, our memories of exciting adventures, but now I've been pushed under the bed, and the new toys are getting their turn. I know I'm being dramatic but like I said, I'm only 19.

I don't want to be forgotten by the boy that I was starting to see before I was catapulted into a new city with no car, no friends and no life. He made me feel like I was unforgettable. SYKE! I don't want to be forgotten by my "friends" back home. I just wish that someone would take the time out of their day to check in with a little call. Someone to tell me that they miss me and I haven't been forgotten.

I love spending time with the fam, but the truth is that I need to get out of this house. I'm going insane. There is only so much time that can be devoted to avoiding family members, especially when I'mm my mom's right hand woman. I'll sit down for five seconds and then it's "Do this... Can you come here... I need your opinion..." I love my mother but it seems like I'm the other half of her brain. How wil she function when I move back to school?!

I promise my next post will be more exciting. I'm not always a Debby-Downer, if anyone is actually reading this.

<3 S

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

More than Hot Air.

Blondes are subject to jokes. It's a simple fact. Because we have light skin pigmentation, and the alleles in our genes match up in a certain way, we are not as smart as the rest of the world. Unfair much?!

I may not be a rocket scientist, but because I choose to keep my hair in a lighter shade, I am automatically labeled as the dumb blond. Yes, I may have my ditzy moments, but I can guaruntee that so to red heads, brunettes and people with black hair. It's not very fair.

It blows my mind how easily stereotypes are created. From blonde hair equaling a lack of intelligence to dark skin equaling a rise in crime rate. Our world is so incredibly judgemental and it breaks my heart.

I just moved from my quiet little town in Oregon, to a larger scaled city in Ohio. Back home in OR, the most racial diversity we saw was the migrant hispanic workers and their families. Aside from that it was mostly a Caucasian based community. I felt safe in my city, safe in my school, safe with my friends. Then my family was uprooted after my freshman year in college to a state 2500 miles away from the place I had called home for the last 16 years of my life. Not only were were moved across the country but we were moved into a completely new cultural center. Instead of having a single racial group surrounding our middle class Caucasian American family, we had TONS of different types of people. I thought to myself, this is so exciting! Tons of people from different backgrounds in one city, there's got to be so much going on in this town. As I was driving around looking for the bank, I ended up in a lower income side of town. That was something I thought I had witnessed back home, until I drove into a neighborhood about two blocks from the bank. My mom and I were awe-struck at the poverty in this neighborhood, looking around to see boarded up windows and cars that were missing windows. I won't lie; I was kind of scared. Scared enough to slowly reach for the lock button on the car door. I had never seen it that bad in real life.
We pulled up to the bank. It was the first of the month so EVERYONE was at the bank, cashing their pay check or paying off bills. I was apalled at my reaction. I double checked to make sure the doors were locked because there were lower class people all over the bank parking lot, blasting rap music from their cars as if this was the local hangout. I thought, I don't want to stay in the car all by myself, I've seen too many thriller movies where the young girl gets taken from the car by the gangsters in the parking lot. It was the most irrational thought I've ever had, and instantly I was ashamed of my judgement.

The point I'm trying to get across is that we can't control how quickly our minds move from one thought to another. We can judge people just as unconsciously as taking a deep breath. The point is not to act on the judgements we make on people. Whether we assume that the blond girl is ditzy, or assume that the man with baggy jeans will steal you from inside your locked car. Acting on the judgements is what gets people in trouble, not the judgements themselves.

<3 S